Living with someone who suffers with dementia, you are not alone, many have the illness and caregivers who help are stressed

If you live with someone suffering from a memory impairment, know that you are not alone. As the disease progresses, the person suffering from the illness will eventually need full time care either from a family member who lives with him or her or a paid caregiver. The disease progresses at different rates and it is often hard to determine when to have the person move in with you or to have a live in caregiver move in. Often times, a crisis precipitates the decision such as the person’s wandering, forgetting to eat and losing alot of weight, mismanagement of the pill box and/or some combination of the decrease in daily living skills. Once a family decides to have a loved one move in with them or vice versa, the whole dynamic in the house can change. If you have a house where the kids are still growing up, the tasks of trying to be attentive to the kids needs, activities and tasks can be overwhelming and to add a loved one suffering from memory impairment can be like adding another child to the mix. The memory impaired person can begin to take away time and even become the focus of the family’s attention and activities to the point that life revolves around the memory impairment. I can’t go to my daughter’s dance recital because there is no one to stay with mom or if I go to the recital and someone stay, I worry while I am there and think about it alot.
Having a memory impaired person living with you after the kids are grown can also be very taxing and can even result in anger and resentment on you part. Maybe this is the time you planned to be free from all responsiblities, take trips, start a hobby and along comes this illness that keeps you from doing what you planned. Or maybe it is not you that feels that way but rather your spouse. A person who is always like your memory impaired person, been willing to help out but now feels he or she is robbed of the retirement time with you.
If you have experienced any of this, you are not alone. It is a common feeling among caregivers. There is no one answer for how to fix your situation. The best thing to do is sit down and identify where the stress is. Is the stress, you cannot get out of the house? If so, sit down with your calendar and plan out every tues you will go out from 9 to 12pm and then hire a company like Comfort Keepers to send a caregiver out to stay with you memory impaired person. It will do wonders for you.
If the issue is with your spouse, the feelings of anger and resentment, then plan date nights and maybe have your grown adult son or daughter stay with your memory impaired person. If you belong to a faith group like church or synagogue often these places with have senior ministries or volunteers who will come and stay with love one for couple hours. You need a break sometime and that is okay. You need to take care of yourself and your marriage or the memory impairment, not your loved one, will have a significant impact on the relationship and its future.
To see more info on Comfort Keepers and in-home companion services, go to www.comfortkeepers.com